5 Minutes on Leading Through Stress and Uncertainty

I have found the past few months especially stressful.
 
There has also been a lot of uncertainty. Factors that are just plain out of my control.
 
It hasn’t been all bad.
 
While I’ve been working harder than I’d like, I’m also learning so much, engaging with amazing clients and training participants, and getting to witness what’s emerging from our work together.

Stress, and anxiety, are nothing new to me. But lately, I’ve been thinking and learning about how stress and uncertainty are linked.

Let’s face it. There’s a lot of uncertainty these days, giving me plenty to ponder. Whether it’s violence happening in the world, worrying about the outcome of the 2024 elections, or personal challenges like health concerns or aging parents, there’s reason to feel uncertain. So much is out of our control.
 
And I know I’m not alone. I’m sure if I asked you, it wouldn’t be hard to answer, “What is causing you stress right now? What is making you anxious? Where is there uncertainty in your life?”

There's a reason uncertainty is so difficult for us. Did you know...
 

“Uncertainty is more unpleasant and arousing than assured harm because you can’t prepare for it….”
-  Lisa Feldman Barrett, Neurologist as quoted in “Unleash Your Complexity Genius” by Jennifer Garvey Berger and Carolyn Coughlin.

 
Isn’t it fascinating that our brains would rather have assured harm than a future we don’t know how to prepare for?

So if uncertainty is so unpleasant, so hard to cope with, how do we effectively work and lead in uncertainty?
 
Here are three ideas.

 Three ways to lead with stress, anxiety, and uncertainty:
 

1. Acknowledge and share what is. Acknowledge to yourself that you feel stressed, uncertain, or anxious. If you can, share your stress with someone else. To be present for our teams, we have to learn to be present with ourselves.  
   
   One leader I very much admire tells the People Leaders that report to him that it’s okay to share their anxiety with him. He invites them to talk about it, giving them an outlet to process their worries so they aren't burdening their direct reports with the stress and uncertainty.
   

2. Learn to calm your nervous system. We know from brain science that it’s important to actively calm our nervous system. Over time it builds resilience. It also positively affects others by calming their nervous systems.
   
   If you are in a tough moment, stop, pause, and invite everyone to join you in feeling your feet on the ground and engage in breathing together. Learn what calms your nervous system. Try different things and pay attention to the results.
    

3. Embrace the gray. Uncertainty can become an excuse for either/or thinking. Either we can find answers, or there is too much uncertainty and there’s no point in trying. According to Nora Bateson, in her book “Small Arcs of Larger Circles”, we can get stuck in the binary of “That which we know and that we do not know….”

   
   What if instead, we live in the gray. We accept we cannot know it all. But we don’t let that keep us from learning more.

   
   Again from Nora Bateson, we can become, “increasingly familiar with the many complexities that surround all that we study. We will never understand it completely, but we can continue (endlessly) to increase our comprehension of the variables at play.”

If you have time, pause now and reflect.
 
What do you need to acknowledge to yourself or someone else about stress, anxiety, or uncertainty?
 
What calms your nervous system? What can you try?
 
Where can you practice learning more even if there is no final answer?