5 Minutes on Transitioning From Peer To Supervisor

Whenever I train People Leaders (supervisors), I ask the crowd:

How many of you have been in the situation of being promoted into a supervisory role above your current peers/team members?

Always more than two thirds of the room raise their hands.

I’ve even seen the number cited as closer to 90%.

It’s common, but not easy.

It can often be awkward and comes with challenges. Maybe you can relate to these challenges:

1. I was close to some members of the team, we are even good friends, and not close to others.
    

2. Team members perceive I’m playing favorites because I’m friends with some members of the team. Maybe I am?
    

3. Another member of my team also applied for the supervisor role that I got. Now I am their supervisor!
    

4. I can tell some members of the team are jealous of my advancement or don’t think I’m right for the role.
    

5. It's now my job to address performance problems I saw when I worked with them on the same team.

I’m sure you can add to this list of challenges.

“It’s easier to have your boss turn into your friend than your friend turn into your boss.”

– Ben Dattner, Organizational Psychologist

 So, what do we do? I have three strategies for you.

1. Name the change.

2. Listen.

3. Reset boundaries. 

Let’s dig into each.

1. Name the change.

As a former peer, it can be an awkward transition to supervisor. You might even be supervising your work bestie. My advice?

Name it.

Name the change and the awkwardness it brings.

Admit there might be some growing pains as you move into the new role and set new boundaries.

2. Listen.

Make time to listen to the concerns and ideas of your team related to the transition and your new relationship as supervisor and supervisee.

Here are a host of questions you can ask at team meetings or during one-on-one conversations. Some of these questions come right from participants in my Supervisor Coaching Labs. 

Questions about the change:

1. From your perspective, what might this mean for our working relationship?

2. What's most important for you about our new relationship structure?

3. What questions do you have about my new role?

4. Do you have any anxieties, fears, feelings, or questions you want to lay on the table?

Questions to support your new relationship:

1. Do you have any suggestions on how best to work together given this change?

2. What are you looking forward to about having me as your supervisor?

3. What has worked well that you would like to see continue? Anything you would like to be done differently?

4. Do you have any needs that haven’t yet been met by management?

5. What forms of feedback/management work well for you?

6. How would you like to provide feedback to me or ask for support?

7. What can I do to help you feel comfortable coming to me? How can we best handle concerns as they arise?

8. What do you see as your main priorities in your role and how can I best support you in them?

3. Reset Boundaries

Being a former peer, now supervisor, means there are power dynamics at play. You now have additional power and responsibility.

It’s time to recalibrate relationships.

This is especially true for former peers you were close to, that you might consider friends, or where there is a perceived, or real, favoritism.

New boundaries might include:

1. Be intentional about how you interact with your employees socially. You might have to say no to events outside of work you used to attend. Or certain social events might be put on pause as you figure out the new dynamics.
    

2. Be very careful to not talk about others on the team. This means not sharing anything with your friend that you wouldn’t share with others on the team.
    

3. Make a point to connect with those on your team you aren’t as close to in ways that feel genuine to you. If it feels fake, it’s better to skip it.
    

4. Hold regular one-on-ones with every member of your team. It’s a great way to build and strengthen your relationship. You can find ideas and advice in my series about one-on-ones that starts HERE.
    

5. Build your feedback muscles. It can be especially hard to give and receive feedback as a former peer. It can be hard to say the tough stuff, and it can be even harder to hear. Work on your ability to give and receive feedback openly and without defensiveness. You can start by reading my blog post on Feedback Support HERE.

Transitioning from peer to supervisor can be challenging and awkward. 

But it can also be rewarding.

The goal is to bring awareness and intention to the transition, for yourself and your new supervisees.

If you’ve made this transition, consider:

What was most challenging when you transitioned from peer to supervisor?

What helped the transition go more smoothly?

Download a quick guide to the three strategies HERE.